Facts about your body after you turn 25, AKA things I wish someone had told me:
you will get hair in fun new places. this is normal and fine.
these places include (but are not limited to) if you don’t already have them: your asscrack, your back, your ears, and moles. it’s fine.
some of you, dick or not, will also lose hair. this is normal, but also if you have ovaries maybe get this checked out for PCOS.
your acne will probably change. some people get better. some people get worse. it’s fine.
your nails will probably get an infection or a fungus at least once in your life. this is fine. (but also let your doc know).
how you gain and lose fat and where you do so will change. this is fine.
how you smell will change. this is fine. (fishy or rotten smells mean doctor time though)
if you have a prostate: it gets harder to pee. prostates enlarge as you age (get this checked regularly). this is fine.
if you do not have a prostate: it gets easier to pee but not in a good way. as in as you get older, your pelvic floor muscles tend to lose some of their strength. this makes it harder to keep pee in. this is fine.
all breasts and pectorals eventually sag, with the rest of your body. this is fine.
a decent percent of the population will experience a cyst at least once. some of you will make up for the rest with multiple. this is fine, but keep them checked out by a doctor. (sometimes this is a condition! get checked for that too!)
almost half of everyone gets hemorrhoids. it’s a good idea to just expect them since your chances of getting them get higher the older you are. your toilet will look like a murder scene. definitely get your booty checked out BUT this is almost always perfectly normal. just eat more fiber. “but I already-” eat more fiber. and maybe suck it up and buy some hemorrhoid cream, you’ll thank me later.
yes, this means you will probably need to make an appointment for a doctor to see your butthole. it’s okay. not only do they really not care but 1. they’ve seen weirder that day and 2. they’d far rather you see them now than later when it’s been going on for forty years and now it might be colon cancer. it’s okay. consider it a rite of passage.
adults need more sleep than children. don’t believe the myth that you need less than they do. that is capitalist propaganda to make you give up more of your life to the work grind, comrade.
vitamins and medicine, something you are more likely to take as you get older, sometimes make the toilet turn weird colors. it’s okay.
if you still have your tonsils and get those little stones and get sore throats more than once a year you should plan on getting those suckers out before the tonsils cause an infection and go septic. if you’re getting stones at all you should get those reevaluated every year, especially if the stones are bigger than a needlehead (or get bigger over time). it’s gross and yucky. I don’t care. get them looked at before you end up in the hospital.
you’ll probably need to add foot support to your shoes if you don’t already do. this is fine.
your body changes. sometimes it can feel sorta weird and upsetting that it isn’t what it used to be. that is okay, and it is okay to be upset. just know that this is normal, it’s normal to be upset or not upset, but don’t let it hinder your quality of life. trans or cis, there is a certain level of acceptance you just gotta give your body and forgive your body for as you get older. it’s okay.
So according to the Nerdist article, Jensen came up with most of his dialogue on his own, riffing with Kripke. I guess Ackles is the King of Smut after all.
…we were trying to get Soldier Boy into the spinoff and we said, “Well, this is actually the perfect spot because he can be alive and well in a dream sequence, whereas in the reality of the show, he’s unconscious in a CIA basement somewhere.”
And so I called him and I said, “You’re suiting up. We need you.” He was awesome as always. He was shooting this show, Big Sky, and he moved around his dates and came in. His only request was, “It needs to be funnier.” And I said, “Totally,” and I was actually going to be there in Toronto at the time anyway. So I’m like, “I will be on set, I will be standing next to the camera, and you and I will riff until you are happy.”
It was one of the most fun days I’ve had on a set. He’s there, I’m right behind the camera, and we’re just rolling. And he’s like, “What if I say this?” I’m like, “Say it.” And then, “What if you say this?” We must’ve come up with 100 euphemisms for jerking off, and we’ve only used 10% of them. It was a blast because he’s so good at improv, he always has been, so it was just him and I throwing stuff back and forth and rolling film on it.
the older I get, the more the technological changes I’ve lived through as a millennial feel bizarre to me. we had computers in my primary school classroom; I first learned to type on a typewriter. I had a cellphone as a teenager, but still needed a physical train timetable. my parents listened to LP records when I was growing up; meanwhile, my childhood cassette tape collection became a CD collection, until I started downloading mp3s on kazaa over our 56k modem internet connection to play in winamp on my desktop computer, and now my laptop doesn’t even have a disc tray. I used to save my word documents on floppy discs. I grew up using the rotary phone at my grandparents’ house and our wall-connected landline; my mother’s first cellphone was so big, we called it The Brick. I once took my desktop computer - monitor, tower and all - on the train to attend a LAN party at a friend’s house where we had to connect to the internet with physical cables to play together, and where one friend’s massive CRT monitor wouldn’t fit on any available table. as kids, we used to make concertina caterpillars in class with the punctured and perforated paper strips that were left over whenever anything was printed on the room’s dot matrix printer, which was outdated by the time I was in high school. VHS tapes became DVDs, and you could still rent both at the local video store when I was first married, but those shops all died out within the next six years. my facebook account predates the iphone camera - I used to carry around a separate digital camera and manually upload photos to the computer in order to post them; there are rolls of undeveloped film from my childhood still in envelopes from the chemist’s in my childhood photo albums. I have a photo album from my wedding, but no physical albums of my child; by then, we were all posting online, and now that’s a decade’s worth of pictures I’d have to sort through manually in order to create one. there are video games I tell my son about but can’t ever show him because the consoles they used to run on are all obsolete and the games were never remastered for the new ones that don’t have the requisite backwards compatibility. I used to have a walkman for car trips as a kid; then I had a discman and a plastic hardshell case of CDs to carry around as a teenager; later, a friend gave my husband and I engraved matching ipods as a wedding present, and we used them both until they stopped working; now they’re obsolete. today I texted my mother, who was born in 1950, a tiktok upload of an instructional video for girls from 1956 on how to look after their hair and nails and fold their clothes. my father was born four years after the invention of colour televison; he worked in radio and print journalism, and in the years before his health declined, even though he logically understood that newspapers existed online, he would clip out articles from the physical paper, put them in an envelope and mail them to me overseas if he wanted me to read them. and now I hold the world in a glass-faced rectangle, and I have access to everything and ownership of nothing, and everything I write online can potentially be wiped out at the drop of a hat by the ego of an idiot manchild billionaire. as a child, I wore a watch, but like most of my generation, I stopped when cellphones started telling us the time and they became redundant. now, my son wears a smartwatch so we can call him home from playing in the neighbourhood park, and there’s a tanline on his wrist ike the one I haven’t had since the age of fifteen. and I wonder: what will 2030 look like?
how romantic for a creature to bury itself in the sand and gaze forever upwards at the heavens! how sublime that humans, observing this quiet creature staring skyward, should dub them “stargazer,” one who gazes at stars
*politely* may we see it?
yes ♥
*politely* may we unsee it?
no ♥
She is beauty she is grace she is both venomous and capable of delivering electric shocks.
#I actually think it is sublime #to encounter such a being and instead of naming them #ugly bitch fish or yo mama or FUCK NO #we call them stargazer #we think yes this creature longs as we do for the beauty of the night sky #and gazes at the stars #and that is the thing we think is important enough to make a name of #fucking hell that’s beautiful
I love that the crew looked at those severed unicorn legs and said “solid high-quality wood…about the width of a human calf…sturdy flat base…hey that would make a way better leg for Izzy than that little peg!” And then they DECORATED IT FOR HIM.
honestly, House’s ‘I have tenure’ attitude is one of the funniest aspects of the character. He comes in late, leaves early, doesn’t read his mail, doesn’t write reports or do any paperwork, doesn’t do conferences, regularly skips out on clinic time and even when it comes to meeting his regular 'one patient per week’ quota, he’ll either just hide from Cuddy after curing one or if she tells him to do his job he’ll just be like “no❤️” and go to his office to play with his yo-yo or bounce balls against the wall or hang out with Wilson on company time. 'I’ve been through three regime-changes at this hospital’
Anti-work king.
He is
off the clock
[ID: screenshots from House MD.
Two different scenes from two different episodes. The first shows a woman collapsed on the floor. House stands beside her. There are many other people. House looks down at her. Then he asks, “Is anybody here a doctor?”
The second shows a stewardess in a plane asking, “Is anyone here a doctor?” House says, “Yes.” He stands up and adds, “I’ll go get her.” end ID]
[plain text: Below the pictures, the text says, “He is” then in curly font, “off the clock”]
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